...e.e
Right now im very emo. Not literally obvviously, but yeah im annopyed.
Why?
Remember I said that Megan and Shelby were ina huge fight? Back then Megan was being bestfriends with me and saying all this bad stuff about Shelby behind her back and we used to go round each others hosues every friday. I even almost slept round her house on a school night.
Now, Shelby and Megan are friends again. When I first heard the news, I was really happy because then we were al;l friends again. Obviously not. Megan totally cut me out and is now 'Bezzies' with Shelby! She IGNORES me in school and always links arms with Shelby and they're always whispering to each other. When I ask what they're talking about, Shelby goes to tell me when Megan goes all "DONT tell her Shelby, its not her conversation."
I mean, WTF! Seriously! When I try talking to Megan aboutt he things we used to talk about, she jsut gives me a weird 'wtf' look and turns around back to Shelby. Its SUPER upsetting.
In PE they're ALWAYS partners. And my PE teacher is GAY because she ALWAYS puts Shelby and Megan in one team and me i nthe other.
In tutor (homeroom), I normally sit next to Megan. But one morning I came in, and SHELBY was sitting in my spot, next to Megan.
On Thursday, Megan was going around Shelbys house. She kept rubbing in my face unti lI had to say "Cool. Awesome. I dont care."
Then on Friday, it was Megan's little sister's bday so she took Shelby. I dont even know why Shelbys going if its Megan's LITTLE SISTER'S bday, not hers. Whatever. Then they slept roun each others houses. Its sunday and Shelbys still at her house. How do I know? Their Facebook status. They're really pissing me off. Then they decided to go out with a group of friends without telling me. W. T. F.
Im being TOTALLY CUT OUT of 'the group' and its pissing me off.
Im more upset because in my last school I was left out of the group aswell. Im jsut thinking, why is it always me? What have I done? Why do I all the time have rto be the wallflower? Cant I just have some actual best friends for once? Its not fair.
Whatever. Im not letting it get me own. If Megan think she can jsut turn her back on me like that, then Im doing it back. Im not letting this get out of hand like it did in my last school. I guess what happened at my last school was one of the reasons why I was the only one from my al,st school coming to this secondary school...
Sorry to ramble.
Anyway, this whole week has just been a ROLLERCOASTER.
There wass a huge fight.
It began...
Normally, Shelby hang out with the 'popular' kids at lunch. One day, she decided to hang out with us instead. That pissed off the popular kids.
They started to say to Shelby "Why are you skanking us for a bunch of GEEKS?" a.k.a, me and the others in our group. That annoyed me, because couldnt they come up with a more original insult? Seriously. Geeks? Overused. Anyway, Shelby ignored them and hung out with us.
Then when we were lining up outside Art, Megan was pushed and accidently stepped onto Vik's (one of the popular kids) foot and got mud onto her tights. Megan was all "Oh, sorry! Someone pushed me." and Vik was like "WTF WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? GOD SAKES, MEGAN!" And then she stamped onto Megans foot and rubbed in so her tights were even muddier. Viks little 'posse' started giggling and Megan was like "VIK! Why did you do that? It was an accident! Theres mud all over my tights now." and Viks posse giggled even more and were imitating her.
Then Shelby came over (lol, if anything ever happens to us, we always call Shelby. She a,lwsys sticks up for you.) and she went "Er, no. It isnt funny."
And then Vik's friend Stacey went "Er, yes it is cos we're laughing."
Then we has PSHE (its lesson about how bad drugs are and pregnancy and stuff like that.) so me megan shelby and this really nice guy called J sat next to each other and we just kept laughing the whole lesson. Vik and ehr posse on the opposite side of the room mae fun of our laughing. We jsut ignored them.
Then, this total TWAT called Mike (WHO I HATE SO MUCH. SERIOUSLY. I was so close to setting my older sister on him.) kept staring at us until Megan went "What are you looking at? Can you stop?" And then Mike went "Er, no.".
One of Vik's posse looked over and thought we were staring at her and went "Hav you got somethin' to look at?"
And then her friends laughed until J stepped in. He started arguing with them and then they shut up for most of the lesson.
Then, Vik went "Your dad, the one you never had." To shelby. That was totally out, because Shelby's parents split up and Shelby doesnt really see her dad much. Then the teacher went "Shelby, stay behind after." And I was like "WHAT!" She did nothing wrong!
After class me and Megan waited outside the door for Shelby when Vik, STacey, and the other popular gang waited outside for Shelby too. Not out of kindness. They were obviously going to either A) Beat her up or B) Have an argument with her.
Me and Megan looked at each other. I think we both thought the same thing.
Then they got bored and left, and shelby came out. We told her about them waiting for ehr and she went "..Lets just go."
We walked down the corridoor when we heard Stacey behind us going
"Shelby," And shelby stopped and turned around when stacey went "We need to talk to you.."
Shelby came back to us and I went "Just ignore them. we'll be okay if we make it into the cafeteria." And we speed walked down the corridoor into the cafeteria and sat down. Then we all sighed i nrelief.
Then, Shazz and Jody came over and said to Shelby "Why did you call Vik a pratt?" And we all looked at each other and then at them going "...What..?" Because we all know Shelby didnt say that.
Shelby went "What? I didnt. When was this?" And shazz and jody looked at each other smirking and they went "In PSHE." I dropped my sandwich. I kenw it was a total lie because 1. Shelby never uses the word pratt. She might usae the word shitface, but not pratt. 2. I was with her the whole lesson and she never said that.
Shelby was about to say something when SHazz flicked her overdyed hair and went "Oh, well, we'll bring Vik over, yeah?" And without waiting for a answer they walked off to get Vik leaving us totally stunned.
We all looked at each other motuhs open. I said "Someone going round shit stirring."
Shelby looked scared. You dont want to get on the wrong side of Vik and the gang. I;ve never saw Shelby scared before. Watching ehr look scared made myself scared.
Trying to lighten up the situation I went "I bet they wont come."
Megan said "Oh, they will. Trust me."
We all stayed quiet until sure enough, the gang came over to our table. Stacey, Vik, Mark (who had nothing to do with the argument), Shazz, Jody and sophie. I looked at Shelby and she looked pretty scared
Vik looked like she was going to burst with anger. "Oi, why are you goin round saying stuff bout me?"
And shelby went "I never said nothing."
Vik went "Well, you boviously had because Mike heard you call me a pratt."
Megan shelby and me looked at each other and said at the same time with annoyance "Mike."
Megan went "SHleby never said ANYTHING. We were with her the whole time and she didnt sya that to you. Mike is lying."
And then Vik narrowed her eyes and went "Just shut up, megan. Dont get fucking involved."
I was getting really scared. Even though it wasnt really my argument, I was still going through it with Shelby. Shelby looked REALLY scared right now and was struggling to say anything
Mark wa jeering behind the gang going "GO ON, BEAT EM UP!" I swear I almost shouted at him but I knew it wasnt really the time and place. Everyone i nthe cafeteria was wuirt and watching us. I've never been dso scared.
I was thinking though, isnt this so stupid? Over a LITTLE tiny thing, and it causes this?
Shelby struggled to say anything and stammered "Mike is lying, he doesnt like me.."
When vik butted in and went "Well, not many people do now, Shelby."
Shelby went "Whatever, Vik. I never said anything."
When vik put ehr hand on her hip and went "What?"
When SHAZZ Stupid bloody shazz said to vik: "Shleby said 'Is that all you got to say?'". I was stunned.
Vik widened her eyes and her face went red swith anger. "Is that all? IS THAT ALL? You better watch what YOU say, never mind me. Dont go fucking around telling fucking stuff about me. If you have something to fucking say, SAY IT TO MY FACE!" She shouted, and then walked off with her posse behind her.
Everyone in the cafeteria stared at us for a second, then went back to chatting and eating their lunch
We satyed silent. I broke it "Did you hear was Shazz said to vik?"
Shelby nodded, then got up and ran to the toilets. We followed her.
She was in one of the toilet cubicles crying, and calling her mum to pick her up..
DOjnt worry. This has a happy ensding. The day after, Shelby went to our head of year, and she dealt with it all.
So this week:
1. Megan stopped being my best friend
2. Shelby and megan are leaving me out
3. We got picked on my chavs and pikeys.
Rollercoaster, huh?
BRITISH SECONDARY SCHOOL SLANG GLOSSARY:
~ 'Skanking'
Means dropping someone for someone else. This is seen as really disrespectful in our school. Heh,m kinda like what MEGAN is doing to me
e.g.
"That guy is totally skanking me for some idiot'
~ 'Shit stirring'
Spreading rumours that arnt true to stir up arguments.
"Dont worry about it, shes only shit stirring"
~ 'Thats Out'
Short for 'out of order'. pretty much self explanitary.
"Seriously? Thats well out."
~ 'Larry'
Loner.
"HAHA Look at that larry."
~ 'Leary'
Getting angry
"Dont get leary at me."
~ 'Tight'
In other palces it means cool, but here its another word for 'out'
"Wtf, thats tight."
Sunday, 25 October 2009
Monday, 5 October 2009
About Candis Friends.
Furcadia friends
-
Kiha/Cindy - AWESOMETASTIC BEYOND WORDS!!11oneoneone. We met on furc and we'vwe been friends for 3 years. We're like, internetirz bezzies (along with sekster and sam). Me and her helped form the band and create the name, and decided to to this blog. Basically, we do a lot of internet stuff together. Shes a great friend 'cause she'll always stand up for me and we make awesome storylines and ideas (like this blog)
Sekure/SEKSTER111oneone - AMAZINGLYCOOL!!!111oneone. She ALWAYS manages to stay cool and almost always knows what to do. She can be practical but she's so awesome that sekster can switch from down to earth to FUNTASTIC RANDOMNESS!!111oneone. We always talk about our school lives through whispers after school, mostly anyway.
Samantha/Sam/Sammy - ROFLCOPTER!!111oneone. Sam and I have been friends for almost htre same time me and Kiha have been friends, maybe even longer. She's the serious one of the group. Well, kinda, if you minus her crazy celebrity crushes. Sam wpouldnt be sam without her talking about Peter Tork or Rupert grint. Samster is also seriously mature and practical, but thats what makes her ALSO AWESOMETASTIC.
I would tell you all about my other furc friends but I prefer if I only told you my absolute besties.
School friends
-
(names changed)
Megan - Currently my best friend right now. TOTALLY COOL!!!11 She says what she thinks and almost always says the truth. Megan always knows how to make me laugh and we have our own little jokes. We always have sleepovers nearly every friday. SHES JSUT AWESOME.
Shelby - ROFL. Shelby is like, a maneater. I mean that in a friendfly way. LOL. SHes got a new boyfriend nearly every week. If she gets bored of one boyfriend, she'll dump him like last months garbage. She loves fashion,. so if you ever want to go shopping you can ask her!
Katie - ...I dont really like her. Im only friends with hetr because when I joined the school she was already with Megan and Shelby. I dont think they like ehr much either. Shes slighty annoying.
Cole - Nickname me and cindy made up for this guy in my school that everyone has a crush on (including me). Shelby has spazz attacks if he just looks at her. She kinda follows him around to say hi. Me and megan made up a joke called 'Shelby's Stalker Diary.' I think Cole is scared of shelby a bit.
---
Note:
Yeah, i've written more about ym internet friends than my IRL friends. You may think this is sad. I do also think that. But thats only ebcause I joined a new school last year with all new people who I've never met before so I still dont know much about everyone.
-
Kiha/Cindy - AWESOMETASTIC BEYOND WORDS!!11oneoneone. We met on furc and we'vwe been friends for 3 years. We're like, internetirz bezzies (along with sekster and sam). Me and her helped form the band and create the name, and decided to to this blog. Basically, we do a lot of internet stuff together. Shes a great friend 'cause she'll always stand up for me and we make awesome storylines and ideas (like this blog)
Sekure/SEKSTER111oneone - AMAZINGLYCOOL!!!111oneone. She ALWAYS manages to stay cool and almost always knows what to do. She can be practical but she's so awesome that sekster can switch from down to earth to FUNTASTIC RANDOMNESS!!111oneone. We always talk about our school lives through whispers after school, mostly anyway.
Samantha/Sam/Sammy - ROFLCOPTER!!111oneone. Sam and I have been friends for almost htre same time me and Kiha have been friends, maybe even longer. She's the serious one of the group. Well, kinda, if you minus her crazy celebrity crushes. Sam wpouldnt be sam without her talking about Peter Tork or Rupert grint. Samster is also seriously mature and practical, but thats what makes her ALSO AWESOMETASTIC.
I would tell you all about my other furc friends but I prefer if I only told you my absolute besties.
School friends
-
(names changed)
Megan - Currently my best friend right now. TOTALLY COOL!!!11 She says what she thinks and almost always says the truth. Megan always knows how to make me laugh and we have our own little jokes. We always have sleepovers nearly every friday. SHES JSUT AWESOME.
Shelby - ROFL. Shelby is like, a maneater. I mean that in a friendfly way. LOL. SHes got a new boyfriend nearly every week. If she gets bored of one boyfriend, she'll dump him like last months garbage. She loves fashion,. so if you ever want to go shopping you can ask her!
Katie - ...I dont really like her. Im only friends with hetr because when I joined the school she was already with Megan and Shelby. I dont think they like ehr much either. Shes slighty annoying.
Cole - Nickname me and cindy made up for this guy in my school that everyone has a crush on (including me). Shelby has spazz attacks if he just looks at her. She kinda follows him around to say hi. Me and megan made up a joke called 'Shelby's Stalker Diary.' I think Cole is scared of shelby a bit.
---
Note:
Yeah, i've written more about ym internet friends than my IRL friends. You may think this is sad. I do also think that. But thats only ebcause I joined a new school last year with all new people who I've never met before so I still dont know much about everyone.
Candi's Blog.
Furcadia
-----
...
Man, I always get crushes on the WRONG time.
More later.
School life
---
I swear this was the most boring day ever. Srsly.
COLE NEWS:
Nothing much. I think I'll give up on him. I;ve heard 3 other guys fancy me anyway.
..
lol
Extra:
I will post more posts later.
-----
...
Man, I always get crushes on the WRONG time.
More later.
School life
---
I swear this was the most boring day ever. Srsly.
COLE NEWS:
Nothing much. I think I'll give up on him. I;ve heard 3 other guys fancy me anyway.
..
lol
Extra:
I will post more posts later.
Sunday, 4 October 2009
Really? (I don't know)
Hola bloggers and bloggets!
Well, nothing really for me other than the fact that I suppose things are going for the better. Getting detailed, alright!
~~~~~~~~~~Love Life~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, I'm currently in a relationship that I really am happy with. A long story behind it, and comming with a happy ending.
The man is 1 1/2, maybe two years older than me, a grade ahead, and has a tough shell that I assume that I'm hidden inside as well, no entrance . . . No escape. He has the personality of a badass, tough as nails, sticking up for everyone including himself, and take shit from nobody personality.
We met 4 years ago, when I was in the 5th grade and my neighbor on the bus was being the biggest jerk to me, and he stood up for me. Unfortunately in return some of the neighbor's friends poured hand sanatizer all over his head, but ever since we've been friends. Around that time I was heavily depressed and always bottled it up, getting to the point where I had to take pills to get rid of the acid that built up in my stomache. Though every problem that became visable, Cody noticed (Cody being the false name of the guy I'm currently with), and he would get to the point where he would actually force the problem out of me, and then everything would be alright. He stook up for me whenever he was around and I was messed with, and always made me laugh and be happy when I wasn't.
Soon enough, I remember one day come home crying my eyes out, going strait for the kitchen, pulling out the kitchen knife and pointing it strait to my heart. It terrified me how I was able to just go and do it, but with that I came with the idea that if I could find one reason to keep me from doing it, I wouldn't. I flipped through options, reasons, and names, but only stopped and found the reason when Cody came to mind, and I set the knife down.
Since then, Cody had become much more of an importance to me. Unfortunatly, I knew we were too much of opposites, and soon enough he started hanging out with the big croud, leaving less time for me to hang out with him. This terrified me. What would happen if he totally left me? Would I actually lead back to that again? So every opportunity I got, I would take as fast as I could to talk or hang out with him. I remember days where I tried as hard as I could to get out the school doors just to run after his croud, catching up with him to go to the library with him, although I was never able to catch up with him, and he'd always be gone by the time I got there.
After a while, I soon realized that this was almost obsession, which probably scared me some more. I was afraid to say or do something, wear something, whatever, for fear that Cody would think I was stupid, latched, and would soon he would completely leave me and label me as a freak of nature. The idea of obsession was quickly then changed to the realization that I was falling for him.
By how he acted, treated, and was, I almost always thought that falling for him would soon change, thinking that he would never feel the same for me, so I tried as hard as I could to turn away, though it never worked. Two years ago, there was one last dance left in the school year, and then Cody would be in High School. We never saw eachother after school, and we never talked on the phone either, so I knew that after that year, I wouldnt' see him for a year. With that, I came with the thought that within that year of not seeing or talking to him, we'd both change to a point where we'd never be able to even talk to eachother, it would never match up. It almost broke my heart.
And then he asked me to the dance, and I knew I couldn't dance. Not only that, but I was too scared to. What if they were bad? So it was awkward, we just hung around and talked, and it embarassed me, but at the end he hugged me for the first time. It was like all of a sudden he got 2 feet taller, and it comforted me, and then we left.
Well, last year I was somewhat stable, very shaky though. I went out with a guy named Tex (not really), out of pity so that pretty much lasted a week. Two months later, I went out with Tylor (really not really), and it was good until he became very uncomfortable, I got complaints from my friends that he was beating them and being very mean, and at one point he tried to get in my pants . . . And that ended that (I would like to note now, that if Cody were to ever know about what Tylor did, Tylor wouldn't live to see the next day).
So this year, I ended up in a hour and a half study hall with him, and we were at seperate tables. Of course, I lightly showed off, but for the first week, we never talked. That tore me to pieces. I felt like walking up infront of him and his friends and screaming at the top of my lungs that I was right there and he didn't even bother saying hi. Although, it was as if Cody had read my mind. He braught me to talk to him about completely nothing, and then I sat back down. Although, on that note, it sparked to the point that with the help of that subject (subject being how crazy my best friend was), the conversations grew bit by bit.
After that time, I'd be talking to people at my table, and couldn't help but every so often catch from where my blindspot was supposed to be (considering I don't have one), I'd catch him looking at me. That only turned to me trying harder for impression.
One jerk in particular just randomly yelled a very stupid name, and in return, Cody immediately told him off. Unfortunately for me, I hadn't heard or noticed it. (I've learned to ignore those things, all I did was hear Cody yell something mean to someone, which wasn't new).
One day I took his cell phone and gave him mine, we exchanged numbers, and we texted after school until 10 when we got into the conversation about the whole dance thing, a guy in particular had told me that Cody had told him to go out with me before my neighbor did. I asked Cody about this and he asked me why he would say that when he always wanted . . . And then he made me guess.
Cody: You guess and I'll tell you if/when you're right
Me: You like me
Cody: Damn you're good.
So after that we just broke out, and apparently he had liked me for as long as I've realised I liked him, we were just too pussy to say something about it.
Needless to say, now we're going out, and Thursday I got my first and second kiss. First time I was shocked, taken by surprise, so it didn't count. So we backed up the whole freaking hallway the second time. <333
Unfortunately, the week after he told me he liked me, his favorite relative died, so since the first&second kiss, he's been at a funeral. He won't be back until tomarrow, and then I'll see him in School on Tuesday.
I can't freaking wait.
~~~~~~~~Friends~~~~~~~~~~
[The following are fake names]
Claudia ......................... Crazy/ BFFLAD (Best Friends For Life And Death), has almost every disorder in the book, you ask her and she rips the names off like she's belching the alphabet. .......... Boyfriend: Rick
Rick ............................. Similar to Claudia, very similar. I'm surpsied they aren't related ................. Girlfriend: Claudia
John ............................. Manwhore. He's gone out with almost every girl in our whole friend group, except for 2/3 other girls, not including myself (Apparently I'm a slut)
Renesmee ........................ Little Sweetie, big pottymouth. She looks the age of 11 and yet is older than most of the people in our group. You expect little sweet things (she is sweet, by the way), and yet when she get's pissed she isn't afraid to show it. I consider her our little time bomb.
Rose ............................ Daredevil, Cowgirl, rebel, she's our little Country Bitch, and has no problem with standing out from everyone else in the school. She's the perfect party girl, too.
Bella ........................... She's tall, very tall, but we all love her! I especially love that about her! She's really nice, caring and spart. She's a bit shy, but with that she's an awesometastic friend.
Drake ......................... He's moved away, but all of us try as much as we can to stay in contact with him. He's an awesome guy and an fantastic hugger. We all love him with a burning passion. Lol.
Daisy ......................... Shortie, cute, and bubbly. She's an awesome person to hang out with, and is as cute as can be.
Tex ......................... Yes, that's right, he's my ex, and Daisy's boyfriend, too, as well as still my friend. He isn't the favorite guy to hang out with, though he's still there (who else can I sit with at lunch?) but whatever. I don't like him very much, I've actually caught him flirting with me a week ago, and I'm not really sure that's stopped yet or not. As well as the fact he was probably showing off at Homecomming dance (Friday, yes Cody left the day before, I went alone but hung out with other friends) when he and Daisy sat right infront of me and he started kissing her. But whatever. He can rott.
Marge ...................... Claudia's sister. She's cute, very funny, and friendly as well as extremely outgoing. I like hanging out with her when I get the chance, but of course all eyes are on Claudia.
Jonesie ..................... She's probably the real normal preson in our/my group of friends. She's new, and learning well how we role. She's probably the critic of the group, and a master at fashion and makeup. Wanna go shopping? She'll love to take ya. ;D (She's Cody's ex-girlfriend's cousin O_O; )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~Me and My Gang~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It isn't really a gang, just a humongulious group of friends from grades 6-11 come on Wednesdays and Fridays at the library and hang out. (Yes, that's a LOT of people) Not all of us go at the same time, but each week has a different mixture of people, which is really cool. When we want to go see a movie, we call up as many people as possible, and we usually fill up a whole row in the theater, which I think is just awesome. All of us are in fact low-class in the whole click world, but we're probably the biggest there ever was in our town. We just hang out, have fun, and live life. We have a problem, we tell the group.
We've all gotten to a point where if someone bothers us, ignore them, or we all block them away from eachother. The founders of our whole group (including me) are pretty much the presidents, which each have their own certain group they mainly hang out with, which has a main group with that main group, etc, so I don't exactly know or meet every singer person in the group, but I am aware of them. All you have to do is just be a friend, hang out, and have some sort of problem, haha. Just kidding, but we all have some sort of issue that brings us to where we are.
Our whole group is basically a numbing group, that makes people feel better in life with just a bunch of friends.
~~~~~~~~~~~Yesterday~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hung out with Claudia all freaking day, had a blast co-working at a little antique shop that her mom loves going to. Got into a fight with my mom about a tradition that doesn't exist.
The tradition she thought that existed was going out and getting a pumpkin. No, that's not tradition, cutting the pumpkin is tradition, and mom broke that tradition last year when she carved pumpkins without me, so I don't wanna hear it.
Needless to say, she was really pissed, and got my stepdad pissed (when he's pissed, HE'S PISSED!!!!) So when I got home I locked myself in my room for 15 hours strait with the exception of the facilities and the shower.
~~~~~~~~~~Today~~~~~~~~~~~
It's freezing cold and I'm anxious to know how Cody's holding up at the Funeral. Just texing him and Jonesie all day. Pretty mellow day.
Everything seems to be okay with the family, other than I don't think my stepdad's really talking to me. My mom even made be breakfast for the first time since ever. So yea, I guess everything's pretty chill aside from the whole funeral thing.
God I feel bad for Cody . . . . ;-;
Well, nothing really for me other than the fact that I suppose things are going for the better. Getting detailed, alright!
~~~~~~~~~~Love Life~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, I'm currently in a relationship that I really am happy with. A long story behind it, and comming with a happy ending.
The man is 1 1/2, maybe two years older than me, a grade ahead, and has a tough shell that I assume that I'm hidden inside as well, no entrance . . . No escape. He has the personality of a badass, tough as nails, sticking up for everyone including himself, and take shit from nobody personality.
We met 4 years ago, when I was in the 5th grade and my neighbor on the bus was being the biggest jerk to me, and he stood up for me. Unfortunately in return some of the neighbor's friends poured hand sanatizer all over his head, but ever since we've been friends. Around that time I was heavily depressed and always bottled it up, getting to the point where I had to take pills to get rid of the acid that built up in my stomache. Though every problem that became visable, Cody noticed (Cody being the false name of the guy I'm currently with), and he would get to the point where he would actually force the problem out of me, and then everything would be alright. He stook up for me whenever he was around and I was messed with, and always made me laugh and be happy when I wasn't.
Soon enough, I remember one day come home crying my eyes out, going strait for the kitchen, pulling out the kitchen knife and pointing it strait to my heart. It terrified me how I was able to just go and do it, but with that I came with the idea that if I could find one reason to keep me from doing it, I wouldn't. I flipped through options, reasons, and names, but only stopped and found the reason when Cody came to mind, and I set the knife down.
Since then, Cody had become much more of an importance to me. Unfortunatly, I knew we were too much of opposites, and soon enough he started hanging out with the big croud, leaving less time for me to hang out with him. This terrified me. What would happen if he totally left me? Would I actually lead back to that again? So every opportunity I got, I would take as fast as I could to talk or hang out with him. I remember days where I tried as hard as I could to get out the school doors just to run after his croud, catching up with him to go to the library with him, although I was never able to catch up with him, and he'd always be gone by the time I got there.
After a while, I soon realized that this was almost obsession, which probably scared me some more. I was afraid to say or do something, wear something, whatever, for fear that Cody would think I was stupid, latched, and would soon he would completely leave me and label me as a freak of nature. The idea of obsession was quickly then changed to the realization that I was falling for him.
By how he acted, treated, and was, I almost always thought that falling for him would soon change, thinking that he would never feel the same for me, so I tried as hard as I could to turn away, though it never worked. Two years ago, there was one last dance left in the school year, and then Cody would be in High School. We never saw eachother after school, and we never talked on the phone either, so I knew that after that year, I wouldnt' see him for a year. With that, I came with the thought that within that year of not seeing or talking to him, we'd both change to a point where we'd never be able to even talk to eachother, it would never match up. It almost broke my heart.
And then he asked me to the dance, and I knew I couldn't dance. Not only that, but I was too scared to. What if they were bad? So it was awkward, we just hung around and talked, and it embarassed me, but at the end he hugged me for the first time. It was like all of a sudden he got 2 feet taller, and it comforted me, and then we left.
Well, last year I was somewhat stable, very shaky though. I went out with a guy named Tex (not really), out of pity so that pretty much lasted a week. Two months later, I went out with Tylor (really not really), and it was good until he became very uncomfortable, I got complaints from my friends that he was beating them and being very mean, and at one point he tried to get in my pants . . . And that ended that (I would like to note now, that if Cody were to ever know about what Tylor did, Tylor wouldn't live to see the next day).
So this year, I ended up in a hour and a half study hall with him, and we were at seperate tables. Of course, I lightly showed off, but for the first week, we never talked. That tore me to pieces. I felt like walking up infront of him and his friends and screaming at the top of my lungs that I was right there and he didn't even bother saying hi. Although, it was as if Cody had read my mind. He braught me to talk to him about completely nothing, and then I sat back down. Although, on that note, it sparked to the point that with the help of that subject (subject being how crazy my best friend was), the conversations grew bit by bit.
After that time, I'd be talking to people at my table, and couldn't help but every so often catch from where my blindspot was supposed to be (considering I don't have one), I'd catch him looking at me. That only turned to me trying harder for impression.
One jerk in particular just randomly yelled a very stupid name, and in return, Cody immediately told him off. Unfortunately for me, I hadn't heard or noticed it. (I've learned to ignore those things, all I did was hear Cody yell something mean to someone, which wasn't new).
One day I took his cell phone and gave him mine, we exchanged numbers, and we texted after school until 10 when we got into the conversation about the whole dance thing, a guy in particular had told me that Cody had told him to go out with me before my neighbor did. I asked Cody about this and he asked me why he would say that when he always wanted . . . And then he made me guess.
Cody: You guess and I'll tell you if/when you're right
Me: You like me
Cody: Damn you're good.
So after that we just broke out, and apparently he had liked me for as long as I've realised I liked him, we were just too pussy to say something about it.
Needless to say, now we're going out, and Thursday I got my first and second kiss. First time I was shocked, taken by surprise, so it didn't count. So we backed up the whole freaking hallway the second time. <333
Unfortunately, the week after he told me he liked me, his favorite relative died, so since the first&second kiss, he's been at a funeral. He won't be back until tomarrow, and then I'll see him in School on Tuesday.
I can't freaking wait.
~~~~~~~~Friends~~~~~~~~~~
[The following are fake names]
Claudia ......................... Crazy/ BFFLAD (Best Friends For Life And Death), has almost every disorder in the book, you ask her and she rips the names off like she's belching the alphabet. .......... Boyfriend: Rick
Rick ............................. Similar to Claudia, very similar. I'm surpsied they aren't related ................. Girlfriend: Claudia
John ............................. Manwhore. He's gone out with almost every girl in our whole friend group, except for 2/3 other girls, not including myself (Apparently I'm a slut)
Renesmee ........................ Little Sweetie, big pottymouth. She looks the age of 11 and yet is older than most of the people in our group. You expect little sweet things (she is sweet, by the way), and yet when she get's pissed she isn't afraid to show it. I consider her our little time bomb.
Rose ............................ Daredevil, Cowgirl, rebel, she's our little Country Bitch, and has no problem with standing out from everyone else in the school. She's the perfect party girl, too.
Bella ........................... She's tall, very tall, but we all love her! I especially love that about her! She's really nice, caring and spart. She's a bit shy, but with that she's an awesometastic friend.
Drake ......................... He's moved away, but all of us try as much as we can to stay in contact with him. He's an awesome guy and an fantastic hugger. We all love him with a burning passion. Lol.
Daisy ......................... Shortie, cute, and bubbly. She's an awesome person to hang out with, and is as cute as can be.
Tex ......................... Yes, that's right, he's my ex, and Daisy's boyfriend, too, as well as still my friend. He isn't the favorite guy to hang out with, though he's still there (who else can I sit with at lunch?) but whatever. I don't like him very much, I've actually caught him flirting with me a week ago, and I'm not really sure that's stopped yet or not. As well as the fact he was probably showing off at Homecomming dance (Friday, yes Cody left the day before, I went alone but hung out with other friends) when he and Daisy sat right infront of me and he started kissing her. But whatever. He can rott.
Marge ...................... Claudia's sister. She's cute, very funny, and friendly as well as extremely outgoing. I like hanging out with her when I get the chance, but of course all eyes are on Claudia.
Jonesie ..................... She's probably the real normal preson in our/my group of friends. She's new, and learning well how we role. She's probably the critic of the group, and a master at fashion and makeup. Wanna go shopping? She'll love to take ya. ;D (She's Cody's ex-girlfriend's cousin O_O; )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~Me and My Gang~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It isn't really a gang, just a humongulious group of friends from grades 6-11 come on Wednesdays and Fridays at the library and hang out. (Yes, that's a LOT of people) Not all of us go at the same time, but each week has a different mixture of people, which is really cool. When we want to go see a movie, we call up as many people as possible, and we usually fill up a whole row in the theater, which I think is just awesome. All of us are in fact low-class in the whole click world, but we're probably the biggest there ever was in our town. We just hang out, have fun, and live life. We have a problem, we tell the group.
We've all gotten to a point where if someone bothers us, ignore them, or we all block them away from eachother. The founders of our whole group (including me) are pretty much the presidents, which each have their own certain group they mainly hang out with, which has a main group with that main group, etc, so I don't exactly know or meet every singer person in the group, but I am aware of them. All you have to do is just be a friend, hang out, and have some sort of problem, haha. Just kidding, but we all have some sort of issue that brings us to where we are.
Our whole group is basically a numbing group, that makes people feel better in life with just a bunch of friends.
~~~~~~~~~~~Yesterday~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hung out with Claudia all freaking day, had a blast co-working at a little antique shop that her mom loves going to. Got into a fight with my mom about a tradition that doesn't exist.
The tradition she thought that existed was going out and getting a pumpkin. No, that's not tradition, cutting the pumpkin is tradition, and mom broke that tradition last year when she carved pumpkins without me, so I don't wanna hear it.
Needless to say, she was really pissed, and got my stepdad pissed (when he's pissed, HE'S PISSED!!!!) So when I got home I locked myself in my room for 15 hours strait with the exception of the facilities and the shower.
~~~~~~~~~~Today~~~~~~~~~~~
It's freezing cold and I'm anxious to know how Cody's holding up at the Funeral. Just texing him and Jonesie all day. Pretty mellow day.
Everything seems to be okay with the family, other than I don't think my stepdad's really talking to me. My mom even made be breakfast for the first time since ever. So yea, I guess everything's pretty chill aside from the whole funeral thing.
God I feel bad for Cody . . . . ;-;
First Real post
Candi here!
Heres some info:
Me and Cindy have been friends for like, 3 years.
We play a game called Furcadia, a game where you're a furry and you talk to other people. NO We are not freaking furry fanatics. Honestly, I actually really hate Furcadia. Seriously. And furry fans scare me. I sometimes wonder why I even play it. I only play it because pof the friends I have o nthere, like Cindy.
Anyway on with thw blog.
Mine will be split up into three
Furcadia blog
IRL (in real life) Blog
and Extra blog for any other stuff.
FURCADIA BLOG:
WOW! ROFLMAOLOLOL
You should have BEEN there. Man it was freaking awesome. Dont you know what I'm talkign about?
Well, Some guy hacked into the server and took over the news channel, warning everyone to change their passwords because he had all of them. He asked the Guardians not to freak out, and they did. So, he hacked into the database and posted nearly every furres passwords all across furcadia. He was freakin awesome. Seriously.
I have some screenies, because pictures always make everything cooler.

The beginning of the hack. I was AFK (away from keyboard) at first, and then looked at my screen and was liek "Wtf is going on"

More hacking announcements

More hacking.
AND NOW EVERYONE, FOR THE BRILLIANT ACT:

HELL YES.
He hacked also into the database and got nearly every furres passwords, and psoted them all over furcadia.

Me and some other players worshipping the hacker god.

Unfortunatly, Felorin had gained control over the server and database and emitted a server announcement. Boo! Party pooper.
But yeah. Apart from that nothing much else happened. Oh, I'll always remmeber the Great Hack of 3/10/09
Aye, I will be tellin' me wee grandchildren one day.
-
IRL Blog.
COLE NEWS
Yes. I have lets say, a crush on a guy called Cole. His name isnt really cole. Its a nickname me and Cindy came up with. Codename COle. Whatever.
When I update my blog psots I most likely will have some Cole news.
ANyway heres a rough background info on whats happened so far:
- Found out i like cole
- So does everyone else in the whole freaking school.
- My best friend has a MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR crush on him (We'll call her Shelby.)
- Shelby has been flirting with him
- I saw Shelby hug and laugh with him, and now they always say 'Hi' when they pass eahc other
So basically they're friends. And Cole knows Shelby likes him.
I was having lunch with my 3 other friends, Shelby, Megan, and Katie. (Those arnt their real names. Just incase they read this.) Shelby was obsessing over how she hifived Cole i nthe corridoor, and I was getting annoyed so I imitated her going "I KNOW OH, MY, GAWD! I was walking into school and he was INFRONT of me!"
And then she said: "Shut up, Kim (not my real name, again. But msot of my 'internet' friends call me Kim, so I'll use that as a replacement for my real name), Cole doesnt know you. He doesnt know you exist. Theres no point of you crushing on him."
Ouch.
That kinda pissed me off.
Even more so, because it was true.
-END OF COLE NEWS-
I was called out of lesson by my head of year. Why? Because in some cooking lesson she threw a cooling rack in my direction. I told my sister and she went and shotued at my head of eyar. So now my head of year was all like "I would never hurt a child blah lblah" When all the time I was thinking "Ok I get the point, can you hurry up now cause I got maths next"
When I saw my kind of guy friend called Mark (OK, All of the names arnt real.) carry my school bag out the door. Then I thought "WTF Why is he stealing my bag!?"
And then my head of year FINALLY shut up and I got up to leave when hse went "Wheres your schoolbag?"
And I go "Its ok. Someone took it for me."
Now, maths is at the whole other side of ym school. My school is big, I'l ltell you that. So I was thinking of ways to get revenge on mark for stealing my bag, until I got to my lesson room and he gave the bag back to me. I was like "Wtf, he carried it for me?"
I thought that because Mark is the one who always does pranks and stuff and I always thought he hated me. Whatever, hes weird anyway.
-
Extra info:
Me and Cindy decided to try out a new game together. I forgot what it was called. We also discussed if we were villians, what would our powers and name would be
Cindy thought she would be called Pandora. She would turn people into sterling silver, and carry around a bozx (Pandoras Box) that stole powers of other people.
I couldnt think of a name. Because I fail.
I thought of Karma at first (Thinking of a generic anime girl going "KARMMAAA, KISS! KAWAII!" with sparkles everywhere and hearts popping out) and then Cindy goes "WHAT ABOUT JINX!"
How come she comes up with really good names and I only come up with strange anime kawaii slang names!?
I couldnt think of a power either, so I gave up.
I fail.
Sum up my life right now in a few words:
Tired, confused, happy, hilarious, friends.
Heres some info:
Me and Cindy have been friends for like, 3 years.
We play a game called Furcadia, a game where you're a furry and you talk to other people. NO We are not freaking furry fanatics. Honestly, I actually really hate Furcadia. Seriously. And furry fans scare me. I sometimes wonder why I even play it. I only play it because pof the friends I have o nthere, like Cindy.
Anyway on with thw blog.
Mine will be split up into three
Furcadia blog
IRL (in real life) Blog
and Extra blog for any other stuff.
FURCADIA BLOG:
WOW! ROFLMAOLOLOL
You should have BEEN there. Man it was freaking awesome. Dont you know what I'm talkign about?
Well, Some guy hacked into the server and took over the news channel, warning everyone to change their passwords because he had all of them. He asked the Guardians not to freak out, and they did. So, he hacked into the database and posted nearly every furres passwords all across furcadia. He was freakin awesome. Seriously.
I have some screenies, because pictures always make everything cooler.
The beginning of the hack. I was AFK (away from keyboard) at first, and then looked at my screen and was liek "Wtf is going on"
More hacking announcements
More hacking.
AND NOW EVERYONE, FOR THE BRILLIANT ACT:
HELL YES.
He hacked also into the database and got nearly every furres passwords, and psoted them all over furcadia.
Me and some other players worshipping the hacker god.
Unfortunatly, Felorin had gained control over the server and database and emitted a server announcement. Boo! Party pooper.
But yeah. Apart from that nothing much else happened. Oh, I'll always remmeber the Great Hack of 3/10/09
Aye, I will be tellin' me wee grandchildren one day.
-
IRL Blog.
COLE NEWS
Yes. I have lets say, a crush on a guy called Cole. His name isnt really cole. Its a nickname me and Cindy came up with. Codename COle. Whatever.
When I update my blog psots I most likely will have some Cole news.
ANyway heres a rough background info on whats happened so far:
- Found out i like cole
- So does everyone else in the whole freaking school.
- My best friend has a MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR crush on him (We'll call her Shelby.)
- Shelby has been flirting with him
- I saw Shelby hug and laugh with him, and now they always say 'Hi' when they pass eahc other
So basically they're friends. And Cole knows Shelby likes him.
I was having lunch with my 3 other friends, Shelby, Megan, and Katie. (Those arnt their real names. Just incase they read this.) Shelby was obsessing over how she hifived Cole i nthe corridoor, and I was getting annoyed so I imitated her going "I KNOW OH, MY, GAWD! I was walking into school and he was INFRONT of me!"
And then she said: "Shut up, Kim (not my real name, again. But msot of my 'internet' friends call me Kim, so I'll use that as a replacement for my real name), Cole doesnt know you. He doesnt know you exist. Theres no point of you crushing on him."
Ouch.
That kinda pissed me off.
Even more so, because it was true.
-END OF COLE NEWS-
I was called out of lesson by my head of year. Why? Because in some cooking lesson she threw a cooling rack in my direction. I told my sister and she went and shotued at my head of eyar. So now my head of year was all like "I would never hurt a child blah lblah" When all the time I was thinking "Ok I get the point, can you hurry up now cause I got maths next"
When I saw my kind of guy friend called Mark (OK, All of the names arnt real.) carry my school bag out the door. Then I thought "WTF Why is he stealing my bag!?"
And then my head of year FINALLY shut up and I got up to leave when hse went "Wheres your schoolbag?"
And I go "Its ok. Someone took it for me."
Now, maths is at the whole other side of ym school. My school is big, I'l ltell you that. So I was thinking of ways to get revenge on mark for stealing my bag, until I got to my lesson room and he gave the bag back to me. I was like "Wtf, he carried it for me?"
I thought that because Mark is the one who always does pranks and stuff and I always thought he hated me. Whatever, hes weird anyway.
-
Extra info:
Me and Cindy decided to try out a new game together. I forgot what it was called. We also discussed if we were villians, what would our powers and name would be
Cindy thought she would be called Pandora. She would turn people into sterling silver, and carry around a bozx (Pandoras Box) that stole powers of other people.
I couldnt think of a name. Because I fail.
I thought of Karma at first (Thinking of a generic anime girl going "KARMMAAA, KISS! KAWAII!" with sparkles everywhere and hearts popping out) and then Cindy goes "WHAT ABOUT JINX!"
How come she comes up with really good names and I only come up with strange anime kawaii slang names!?
I couldnt think of a power either, so I gave up.
I fail.
Sum up my life right now in a few words:
Tired, confused, happy, hilarious, friends.
Labels:
crush,
first post,
friends,
furcadia,
school,
villian names
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